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February 2011

  • Chris Zell
  • Dec 29, 2017
  • 2 min read

These three little words. . .

Posted on February 23, 2011 |

. . .open up the gates of hell:

“Here’s the story.”

Listen to English from around the world

Posted on February 20, 2011

Sympathy

Posted on February 16, 2011

What’s that old joke about where you can find sympathy?

Cause I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be between Chris and Zell.

A guy I know is complaining because his wife (a wife, I will mention, he would bitch about every time I’d see him) left him. Can you believe it? She left this grunting, bitching, simp of a man. I’m not even making fun of him.

The longest continuous sentence I’ve ever heard him utter had six words in it and three of them were ‘umm’ ‘ah’ and ‘like’.

There’s nothing unique about his diatribe. We’ve all had to bear with someone like this. He’s not a friend, just someone who would be considered an acquaintance if you gave even the slightest shit about the outcome of his drop down life.

The thing about guys like this is, sooner than later, a flip will switch and he’ll bring on the bluster. He’ll start ranting that this is the best thing that’s happened since that, ah, time he, urr, found that, like, thing he, umm, was psyched to find!

He’s gonna get the babes! He’s gonna get the chicks! He’s gonna get all the strange that’s just been waiting for him since the day he started wasting his life. AKA, wedding day.

“Yeah,” I say noncommittally. “I bet you’re going to be getting a ton of that hot none on none action.”

Did You Forget Valentine’s Day?

Posted on February 12, 2011

Don’t worry, got you covered!

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